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Destroying
Property
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
January 12, 1993
Raleigh, N.C., judge Don Overby, in several recent cases involving
juvenile theft, has forced the convicted kid to go home, retrieve his
own most prized possession, bring it back to Overby's courtroom, and
watch while the judge smashes it up.
Did
You Understand Me
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, "No Tickets?" What do you mean NO TICKETS?"
The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. "I'm terribly sorry, sir," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"
Documentation
Product
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besidesbeing true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
FrameMaker and Interleaf are competing documentation products. When
the spelling checker of FrameMaker 2.1 encounters the word Interleaf
in a document, it flags it as a misspelling. What does it offer as
the correct spelling? "FrameMaker"!
Drinking
And Driving
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
The "Environmental Engineering News" published some rather sobering information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other countries.
In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in newspapers under the caption, "He's drunk and in jail."
In Malaysia the driver is jailed and, if married, the spouse is jailed.
In the United Kingdom, Finland and Sweden there's an automatic jail term of one year.
In Turkey, drunk drivers are driven twenty miles out of town and forced to walk back ten miles.
In Bulgaria, a second drunk-driving conviction results in capital punishment.
In El Salvador, your first offense is your last -- execution by firing squad.
From the August Road & Track.
Drunk
While Styling
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
February 1, 1993
James MacDonalds and William Shoe smith, both 26, were sentenced to
five years in prison for bank robbery. According to his lawyer,
Macdonald hated his robbery work and had to drink before each job.
For what was to be the pair's last job, he got fall-down drunk and
had to be carried by Shoesmith into the bank to pull off the heist.
The two were soon captured.
Earthquake
at a Bank
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
The city of Whittier, California was founded many years ago, mainly
by Quakers. There is a prominent sign composed of large, brass
letters on one of the financial institutions in that community
identifying it as the Quaker City Bank. The last letter of the first
word fell off during an earthquake yesterday, making the sign read
"Quake City Bank."
Economic
Pressure
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
Faced with economic pressures, many commercial offices are cutting
back on costs wherever possible, in an attempt to remain profitable.
At one particular office, employees are taking management's
belt-tightening orders seriously:
"I'm taking home only half the office supplies I used to", one
staffers notes.
Educational
Priority
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
January 12, 1993
Rhett Jacobs, Democratic candidate for the South Carolina House and a
man who listed "education" as his top priority, submitted a required
campaign disclosure form in October, handwritten, on which he
detailed expenses for "filling fee," "campaign work" and
"litature."
Find
Out About The Cat's
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely
strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.
During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat.
The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"
Flying
The Frankfurt
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered
lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how
to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some
amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange
between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call
Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the
active."
Ground: "Good Morning, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747
pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location
now."
Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to
Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop".
Fortune
Cookies Mistake
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
On Saturday last, I had dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. My fortune read:
"You will gain admiration from your pears."
Comice? Bartlett? Canned? I don't grow or eat them, anyway.
Free
Marriage Ceremony
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
Farmer's Branch, Texas:
Customers waiting for car repairs at Swedish Auto Incorporated now
have an alternative to reading old magazines.
William Signs, owner of the garage, is offering a free marriage
ceremony with any 30,000-mile inspection on Hondas, Volvos and BMWs.
For the $290 price of the inspection, he will throw in the cost of
being married by the local justice of the peace, a $25 value.
The inspection comes with a warranty, but there is no guarantee on
the marriage. Then again, the justice of the peace, Judge Bob Forman,
suggests, "Maybe the car will break down and the marriage won't." He
says he hasn't seen anything like this stunt since his days as a
practicing attorney, when a client asked him to draw up wills for
employees in lieu of cash bonuses at Christmas.
Signs said he got the idea during a trip to Las Vegas, where he
noticed a helicopter operator offering free marriage ceremonies with
the purchase of a deluxe helicopter ride. He decided to borrow the
concept and bring some joy to the unhappy business of auto repair.
"Normally people don't get good news" at auto shops, he adds.
The mechanic isn't concerned about his offer hastening the nuptials
of mismatched partners or cheapening the institution of marriage.
After all, 30,000-mile inspections aren't inexpensive. "They're going
to have to spend almost $300." he says.
If the promotion proves popular, Signs is prepared to expand it to
providing one-size-fits-all tuxedos and wedding dresses of the type
that grooms and brides easily slip into at high-volume Las Vegas
wedding chapels. For customers whose marriages fall apart, Signs is
considering another bargain -- an uncontested divorce after four
30,000-mile inspections, a $100 value.
To advertise the promotion, Signs sent out a mailing to prospective
customers and placed an ad on the side the shop van. But the ad began
two months ago, and so far no one has taken Signs up on it. He has,
however, heard lots of giggles and guffaws from people who call or
stop to ask if the deal is real.
Meanwhile, his own Volvo is approaching another 30,000-mile point,
and he's worried that his girlfriend may notice and pressure him to
cash in on his own offer. To avoid that, he says he's considering
disabling his odometer.
Go
Home and Wait
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
February 10, 1993
FBI and Florida authorities arrested Paul E. Flasher, 45, who had
been sentenced to five years in prison in 1980 for grand theft but
who had never been jailed.
Flasher said he had gone home from the sentencing hearing in Tampa
and "sat tight," just as his lawyer had instructed, waiting for
notification to report to prison. Authorities forgot him for 12
years.
Home
Alone Children
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
St. Paul, MN
The hit movie "Home Alone" about a boy thwarting burglars with
imaginative mayhem, wasn't total fantasy. Just ask the guy who tried
to break in while 13-year-old Ryan Hendrickson was home alone.
Ryan was watching television Wednesday night when he heard a noise
that sounded like a window screen being cut.
"I ran to the closet and grabbed a bat," Ryan said Thursday. "I
went...into the dining room, where I saw him cutting the window with
a knife. He put his left hand in first and I was waiting for his
right hand to come in...and I took the baseball bat and I hit him as
hard as I could."
The man ran. Ryan called 911.
Police, while cautioning Ryan to call 911 first next time, did enjoy
the fact that the kid got in the first lick against a bad guy.
Home
Bulglar Survey
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides
being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or
funny.
February 1, 1993
A survey of home burglars' work preferences published in Whittle
Communications' Special Report magazine revealed that 32 percent like
to browse through family photographs while on the job, 27 percent
like to raid the refrigerator, and 7 percent watch TV.
Seventy percent of the 191 imprisoned burglars reported they like to
limit their jobs to a 20-minute maximum, 17 percent wondered what
their victims were like, and 59 percent said a dog in the home was
the most effective burglary deterrent.
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